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Love Youself to Love Others Wholly

Love is kind, Love is patient, it does not envy ….

If you have been to a wedding ceremony you  most likely will have heard  the words above.  When you read the words who/what comes to mind? For me, I think of all my loved ones , family ,friends, acquaintances and strangers who I could practice showing more love. But do you know the one person I rarely think to apply these words to? Me.. What about you? We are more comfortable showing others love, than we are towards ourselves. Guess what? If you don’t practice loving yourself as the words below describe, then chances are you will struggle to show love to others. If we are critical of ourselves, we will be the same to others. If we are self-accepting and gracious to ourselves, we will be able to extend the same to others. When we love others above ourselves, is that real, true and genuine love? How can we truly offer something that we can’t even give ourselves. Something to ponder on..  When was the last time you invested in yourself?Do you feel deserving? or worthy? Do you feel you are enough as you are?  Place a high value on yourself and others will do the same.

If you are stuck and are fed up of feeling stuck and frustrated about where you are at: it might be your relationship, your career, or perhaps you are struggling to answer these questions: Who am I? What do I want? What is my Purpose?  Or maybe life has recently thrown you a few curve balls. Whatever your predicament, don’t suffer in silence, and try to work it out on your own,GET IN TOUCH

I am offering a 90-minute coaching session for £97. To ensure that we work efficiently and effectively during the session, there will be a pre-session questionnaire.  So, come on, stop dilly dallying and book Your 90-minute session

My signature Authenticity coaching programme will:

• Help you understand you

• Identify the root of your problems

• Develop a success plan to make change happen

• Build the courage to change

• Implement Change and live the life you truly want

Lean In To Your Emotional Resistance to Fight Fear

Emotional resistance is the force that drives you to keep your unhealthy habits firmly in place. This force is often hidden and goes undetected, for example: Procrastination. Why do we develop emotional resistance then?

 

To “protect us against”:

1. Fear of the unknown – We are naturally resistant to change and are creatures of habit. Especially change that is put on us and requires us learning new things. We want to be in control and guide our every move to keep control.

2. Fear of change – We are afraid of letting go of familiar habits( even habits that do not serve us) because we fear that getting out of our comfort zone and risking a new way of being will mean even more pain, or pain we cannot handle.

3. Fear of being wrong – We want to be always right, to control everything and we tend to justify, rationalize and blame everything outside of us in order to keep us from looking inside and learning how we created situations and gaining our power back as deliberate creators.

Decide on one action you will take for the rest of the week to fight fear and embrace resistance. One little uncomfortable step that even as you think about it, you can feel resistance already. Here’s mine; This week I have made the commitment to promote my book to press (radio shows, TV shows), bloggers and online personalities. One call or email every day. I am exercising my visibility muscle. If you know me, you’ll know that this is way out of my comfort zone.

I feel like I am bugging people when I do this. But guess what the results have been brilliant!! Don’t believe the lies! So what’s yours? Be Intentional and post it below, so you can be accountable.

 

Face Your Fear & Win

 

I shared some TIPS on how to face fears your fears and win with the ladies in my private Facebook group. Please watch below to learn more.

 

 

Book Your Clarity Call With Me for Just £97 

 

If you are stuck and are fed up of feeling stuck and frustrated about where you are at: it might be your relationship, your career, or perhaps you are struggling to answer these questions: Who am I? What do I want? What is my Purpose?  Or maybe life has recently thrown you a few curveballs. Whatever your predicament, don’t suffer in silence, and try to work it out on your own, GET IN TOUCH

I am offering a 90-minute coaching session for £97. To ensure that we work efficiently and effectively during the session, there will be a pre-session questionnaire.  So, come on, stop dilly dallying and book book your 90-minute session HERE

 

My signature Authenticity coaching programme will:

  • Help you understand you
  • Identify the root of your problems
  • Develop a success plan to make change happen
  • Build the courage  to change
  • Implement Change and live the life you truly want

Be Your Valentine

There was a period in my life when thoughts of Valentine’s day would fill me with either excitement or dread, depending on my relationship status.  I know it was the same for many of my friends.  We are told that Valentine’s day is all about love and whilst it is great to have a special day dedicated to love, it feels unfair that romance is the most celebrated on Valentine’s day.  Surely there are other types of love and relationships which are just as significant if not more, in our lives? What about the love of a BFF or Bestie who knows you inside out and was there to wipe your tears where your romantic love broke your heart? Surely such love is worth celebrating.  And then there’s the Bromance type of love, having a real mate to give you a man hug when life feels down, is worth a shout out on Valentine’s day.  Then there is the love of family: parents, siblings, aunties, uncles, godparents, grandparents and the list goes on and on. Love has so many faces and means different things to different people and if we had an all-inclusive love day, then no one would be left feeling like a bystander whilst loved up couples enjoy flowers, treats, chocolates and fancy dinners for two only.

Sadly, there is one type of love that is constantly underrated, despite being so pivotal in enabling other types of love to thrive. And that is Self-love. Isn’t it interesting that we place so much value and emphasis on giving our hearts to the “one true love” but so little time and heart for ourselves. There is a saying that in other for us to love others wholly and truly, we need to love ourselves first. Many think it is selfish to love ourselves in this way, but there is a difference between self-love and being selfish or self-absorbed.  Self-love is about being nurturing to yourself, not being critical of you, accepting that you are enough, warts and all.  It is about placing value on yourself and treating you with kindness and respect.  The more I learned to love myself in this way, the more accepting and gracious I became towards others. The more I loved and accepted myself, I found my desperation to place my happiness in the hands of “the one” disappeared. I stopped hankering after someone to love me, because that hole was nearly filled.  And I could recognise a mile off those who were deserving of my love and whose love would add positively to mine and edify me.

So here is my challenge to you for Valentine’s: and this applies whether you are in a relationship or not.  Be Your Valentine’s.  Send yourself a moon-pig card with words of love and treat yourself to something nice. Schedule a date with yourself, either in doors watching a movie or outdoors doing something fun.  Spend time writing words of affirmation on post it notes all around your room.

Here are my words of affirmation:

I am worthy

I am beautiful

I am enough

I am good

I am imperfect and that is okay!

 

Now it’s your turn.  Write down 5 affirmation statements
I am….

And you know what is even better? You can do this 365 days of the year, not just on Valentine’s day.

 

If you are stuck and are fed up of feeling stuck and frustrated about where you are at: it might be your relationship, your career, or perhaps you are struggling to answer these questions: Who am I? What do I want? What is my Purpose?  Or maybe life has recently thrown you a few curveballs. Whatever your predicament, don’t suffer in silence, and try to work it out on your own, GET IN TOUCH!

I am offering a 90-minute coaching session for £97. To ensure that we work efficiently and effectively during the session, there will be a pre-session questionnaire.  So, come on, stop dilly dallying and book Your 90-minutes session here

My signature Authenticity coaching programme will:

  • Help you understand you
  • Identify the root of your problems
  • Develop a success plan to make change happen
  • Build the courage  to change
  • Implement Change and live the life you truly want

5 Rules To Achieve Your Goals

So reflection time – How was January? If you made New Year resolutions or set yourself goals at the start of the year, are you feeling on track to achieve?

Before you answer the question… PAUSE

Lets reflect together and do a constructive monthly reflection exercise.

WWW – what went well in the January?

EBI – Even better If? What would have gone been better in January if…
OFG – Opportunities for Growth – These are the lessons you have learned and how you can apply them in February.

Don’t be hard on yourself or super-critical about the things you did not achieve. That will only demotivate and demoralise you further. Be kind to You.  Be realistic and honest with yourself.

Why did things not go according to plan?

Were your goals SMART?

S – specific, significant, stretchingM – measurable, meaningful, motivationalA – agreed upon, attainable, achievable, acceptable, action-orientedR – realistic, relevant, reasonable, rewarding, results-orientedT – time-based, time-bound, timely, tangible, trackable For me, one goal which would have been Even better if… was my plan to exercise frequently and tone up.  Having being unwell at the start of the year, I have really struggled to get into an exercise routine and it has been very sporadic over the last few weeks.  Medically it can take weeks for the body to recover from a virus but at the same time my exercise goals were not SMART at all. I had a wish or desire, but that was it.  No planning, no specifics, nothing.

So this morning, I woke up energised, and motivated to exercise.  It went well until I had to do squat jumps which I loathe with a passion.  As I groaned from the sheer pain, Dara (my daughter, bless her) said “Mummy you know…. Good things sometimes come from bad things, so don’t give up”  Wow! From the mouth of babes.  That was wisdom right there.  Because something is painful, doesn’t mean I should give up.  I will reap the rewards if I persevere. As the saying goes “no pain, no gain”.  She definitely helped me carry on jumping and not give up.

After my work out,  I proceeded to get Dara ready for school. She turned to me and said, “Mummy but your arms aren’t any bigger, you still look the same, I thought exercise gives you muscles”  Awww!!  my response to her was “it takes time Dara, I have to keep at it”.  Another pearl of wisdom gained! Change is rarely instantaneous. It takes time, consistency, application, being intentional, commitment and investment.

So, this month I am committed to ensuring that my fitness and exercise goals are SMART

S – specific, significant – what exactly do I want to achieve?  My goal is to lose half a stone J  Tone up my arms, thighs and butt! Which means I have to include weight bearing exercises.

– measurable, meaningful, motivational  – It has to be motivational for me otherwise I won’t bother. So I know I love dance and dance based exercises. I am not big on going to the gym and with my time schedule right now, I would be fooling myself to think I would go the gym frequently. The most consistent I have been with my work-out always involved a strong element of dance which is fun for me. So I have to stick with what motivates me.

A – agreed upon, attainable, achievable, acceptable, action-oriented  – What is your motivation for setting this goal?  If you are doing it because you think you should or because someone advised you to, then you might struggle to continue.  The goal must be acceptable to you and you mus have bought into it.  I know I don’t enjoy going to the gym, yet for some reason I feel I should, just because a lot of my friends do.  I keep making promises to myself to sign up to a gym, and start working out in earnest. Guess what? I still haven’t signed up and all I do is procrastinate and not exercise at all!
R – realistic, relevant, reasonable, rewarding, results-oriented  – Are you being realistic with your goals? Seriously? Be honest about what you can achieve.  Don’t focus on massive or big wins but little wins and reward yourself.
T – time-based, time-bound, timely, tangible, trackable  –  If you don’t plan or set aside time in your day to day activity, chances are you will not achieve or make attempts to achieve the goal.  I have set work-out time in my calendar with reminders. I would like to work out as consistently as possible at the same time every day, which is a great habit forming exercise.

If you are feeling like your goals are unreachable, unattainable, or you are just feeling blah, book aFREE 30 MINUTES SESSION and lets chat

My Signature Authenticity coaching programme will

  • Help you understand you
  • Identify the root of your problems
  • Develop a success plan to make change happen
  • Build the courage to change
  • Implement Change and live the life you truly want

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Love Youself to Love Others Wholly

If you have been to a wedding ceremony you most likely will have heard the words above. When you read the words who/what comes to mind?

Lean In To Your Emotional Resistance to Fight Fear

Emotional resistance is the force that drives you to keep your unhealthy habits firmly in place. This force is often hidden and goes undetected, for example: Procrastination. Why do we develop emotional resistance then?

Be Your Valentine

There was a period in my life when thoughts of Valentine’s day would fill me with either excitement or dread, depending on my relationship status.

5 Rules To Achieve Your Goals

So reflection time – How was January? If you made New Year resolutions or set yourself goals at the start of the year, are you feeling on track to achieve?

Are You Truly Confident?

When I look back over my life, I can honestly say that what I portrayed as confidence actually pointed to a lack of it. When we seek approval from others, or try to be who we think we should be in the eyes of others, by emulating a popular trend or fashion to the...

Are You Truly Confident?

When I look back over my life, I can honestly say that what I portrayed as confidence actually pointed to a lack of it. When we seek approval from others, or try to be who we think we should be in the eyes of others, by emulating a popular trend or fashion to the detriment of our own path, then surely we lack confidence in who we are. Conformity is not confidence but instead can highlight where true confidence is lacking. If you follow the trend, fashion, majorly because you really like it, great! But if you do it and you know on the inside you don’t like it, but feel that you should, then lack of confidence is an issue.  – Excerpt from my book “My My Hair and the Rest”

What does being truly Confident mean to you? Are you able to be yourself? Is your worth founded on the opinions of others? Have you discovered the real you?

Here are some questions to help you become confident and authentic:

  1. What are your values?
  2. What’s important to you in life?
  3. What would you like out of life?
  4. How are you being true to who you are? How are you not? What stops you from being you?
  5. In what situations do you feel like you’re being authentic, and in what situations are you not, and why not?
  6. What are your gifts?
  7. What are your strengths?
  8. What are your weaknesses?
  9. What makes you stand out?
  10. Does your walk reflect your talk?
  11. What do you have that can help others?

Taking time to reflect on this increases your self-awareness and can help align you to your purpose. Lack of confidence, and inauthenticity breeds frustration, envy, depression, inadequacy and other self-destroying feelings. The more authentic you are, the more people will draw close to you and trust you. This applies to every area of your life: relationships, business and career.  Do not be afraid to stand out and be true to who you are!

 

IS THIS YOU?

I help my clients dig deep to discover their true self and the clarity and courage to make the changes that will enable them have a deeply satisfying life.

Book a FREE 30 minute session and let’s chat. Let nothing stop your Brilliance from emerging  in 2017!

Read praise from current and past clients here

My signature Transformational coaching programme will:

  • Help you understand you

  • Identify the root of your problems

  • Develop a success plan to make change happen

  • Build the courage  to change

  • Implement Change and live the life you truly want